I am currently in the process of being divorced. I have talked to a few people on this matter, and I get a lot of different ideas on the matter.
One idea was that whoever files should be the one to move out. I know this would not be possible in all cases, but I think there should be some discussion with the judge assigned to the case.
The divorce rate is so high anymore because it is the norm instead of being the last alternative. The divorce laws in Indiana state the reasons for filing and they are breakdown (here is the area that needs discussion) felony crime, adultery, impotency and insanity. Now all these have been thought about, and that is why they are listed as reasons for filing.
The grounds listed are good reasons except for breakdown. Let's face it, if a car breaks down, you get it fixed. If your watch breaks down, you get it fixed. If the lawnmower breaks down, you get it fixed. The reasons you get these items fixed are they cost a lot and it would cost more to buy new.
Now in a marriage, think of the costs here. Houses, furniture, boats, pets, cars and the list goes on. The one major cost I didn't mention is children. You can't put a price on them, but you can mention the emotional cost. This is the most expensive of all things in a marriage.
Communication is the real breakdown. The sad part is that nobody ever makes sure that it is taken care of. That is the breakdown. Not being the smartest person in the world, it seems to me that communicating would be far cheaper than losing all the things I mentioned above. So this is where the person filing should be the one to leave. Not always, but the person that files usually has the upper hand.
In my situation, I went to the provisional hearing without counsel. That was a big mistake on my part. Not only did I look like a fool, the judge said time was an issue so keep it short.
Now here is the problem. The welfare of the spouse is not mentioned and the welfare of the children is compromised. This is where discussion of breakdown needs to be addressed. Communication could solve breakdown. Counseling could resolve breakdown. I have done some research on the divorce laws, and a person has the right to ask the judge to demand counseling if the person thinks there could be a chance of reconciling. I mentioned this, and the reply was what good does it do when the other half doesn't want to. Now this comes back to the person that files should be the one to leave. The reason for this is that it might be cheaper and better off for the children involved if the person that files has to leave.
In society today, the marriage vows mean nothing. I don't see why everybody wants a big wedding and receptions because what it boils down to is that a person might wake up one morning and say I don't feel like being married anymore and file for divorce. America needs help, and when the family unit doesn't mean anything, then we see what divorce does to children. Since the children see that instead of trying to work things out, just get a divorce. What message does that send? The message is that even when I said for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in good health, in good times and bad times in front of God, I really didn't mean them. Again, this doesn't imply that this the answer for all situations.
