Don't Let Children Become Forgotten Victims of Domestic Violence
Posted
April Slone-
Generally, when one thinks about domestic violence, it’s a conflict between adults, wherein the victim is an adult (in most cases, a woman).
This assumption isn’t wrong, but there are other victims in a home afflicted by domestic violence. Children in these homes are sometimes DV’s forgotten victims.
The cycle of violence is just as profound for the children as for the adult victim. As the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence points out – woman abuse is child abuse. “We know much about woman abuse. We know much about child abuse. But if we are to seriously address either one, we must recognize the links between these two forms of domestic violence.
“While one form of abuse can certainly occur without the other, the tragic reality is that anytime a mother is abused by her husband/partner, her children are also affected in both overt and subtle ways” (Woman Abuse is Child Abuse, ICADV brochure 2011).
Children who witness abuse in their homes may react in a wide variety of ways.
Physically, a child may experience an unintended injury during a violent episode between two adults. For example, the child steps in the middle of a fight to protect his mother, and receives a slap, punch or shove that was intended for her.
Other common physical reactions include stomachaches caused by stress and anxiety; bed wetting by children who have been potty trained for years; and changes in eating or sleeping patterns.
Emotionally, a child may become withdrawn or shy. She may have an unexplainable fear of leaving the “safe” parent’s side, or experience frequent nightmares. Children may experience sadness, or blame themselves for the adults’ violent relationship.
Some children experience intense anger, and because they lack a positive outlet to express themselves, may display imitated violent behaviors, which can impact their ability to make and maintain healthy friendships.
Children who grow up in DV homes tend to have a higher rate of drug and alcohol usage as they get older. Many older children exhibit higher risk-taking behaviors than their peers.
Children who grow up in violent homes can easily become the next generation of victims of violence or perpetrators of violence.
Supporting and helping the healing process of a child who has witnessed domestic violence isn’t easy, but offering support and encouragement may be the key to a brighter future for these kids.
Ways to support a child in this situation are very basic – talk to them about their worries and encourage them to express their feelings. Help them maintain routine and balance in their lives.
For younger children, give them something soothing to hold and comfort them. Older children often respond to music as a soother. The most important thing you can have, and exhibit, is patience.
Allow them to express themselves at their own pace. They have been taught from a young age to keep secrets, so talking about their pain is a difficult process and should be respected.
If you suspect a child is a victim of abuse, Indiana law requires you to report it. If the child is in imminent danger of violence, call 911. If threat of violence is not imminent, please call your local police department’s non-emergency number.
You can also call Indiana’s Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline at 800-800-5556.
You may be the only person who can, or is willing to, help. Please, don’t let DV’s forgotten victims continue to suffer in isolation.
