Column: Grace College Focused On Building Champions Of Character
Posted
Roger Grossman-
Twice a year, I have the honor of talking to high school students at the Manahan Orthopaedic Capital Center as part of the Champions of Character initiative Grace College is so deeply imbedded in.
The best and brightest athletes from the schools of the Northern Lakes Conference (each fall) and Three Rivers Conference (each spring) gather at Grace to learn about leadership and to grow. These students are boys and girls, generally underclassmen, who were chosen by their athletic departments, principals and others in authority as students who have a high ceiling when it comes to leadership potential.
Roughly 10 students from each school attend, so we are talking about 100 kids on the floor of the MOCC.
Grace AD Chad Briscoe welcomes the students, sets the tone for the day, then turns things over to me and other guest speakers to follow.
My task is to talk to the students about social media — all that is good about it and all that is bad, and how close good and bad really are.
At the end of my presentation, I give the kids three filters for everything they post on social media. I tell them I want them to be able to answer “no” to all three of these questions before they hit the send/post button. Even if there is nothing that could possibly be controversial about what they are about to send, I encourage them to make the filters a habit.
I would like to share those three filters with you.
First, ask, “Does what I am about to post genuinely help solve a problem?”
Notice, the question is not about whether posting what you are about to post will make you feel better or feel happy — because it will, for a little while. But it usually only makes things worse in the end.
One of the biggest threats of social media is that people can reply to what you send out. Sure, you can hit SEND and stand with your balled-up fists on either hip with your chin pointed proudly into the wind in a defiant posture. But anyone who sees what you wrote or the picture you sent can comment on it or forward it to their friends.
That means coaches see it. That means your teammates see it. That means your opponents see it.
For you, that may mean your boss or spouse sees it. Does airing that out on social media work for them?
Second, “Does this help my teammates?”
You might see a player post, “We left a lot of runners on base tonight…can’t keep doing that if we are to win conference.” OK, well, his post refers to a guy on his team who struck out twice with the bases loaded in a game they lost 6-4. So how long will it take before this teammate or his friends and family members either see the post or it gets forwarded to them? An hour? Two? They get what happened. Lighten up.
With our culture’s growing lack of civility, we are raising a generation of self-centered people who take care of themselves first and the team success is, in their own thinking, tied into their personal success. In other words, “If I play well tonight, we’ll probably win.”
It doesn’t work like that for a large majority of us.
Third, “Is there any chance at all that I might have to apologize for any or all of what I post?”
If there is any chance the message that you are about to transmit can be misconstrued, misunderstood or misinterpreted, your best bet is to hit the “X” and start over. We live in a society that says, “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.” That statement is 100% true. It IS easier — but it is NOT better.
Even if you can delete the original post, someone saw it and will remember what it said. You cannot unring that bell, and its echo fades very, very slowly. The damage can be far-reaching and hard — or impossible — to reverse.
So what about you, Mr. and Mrs. Adult?
Ever put your kid’s teacher on blast because of something your kid claims happened in class? Or the superintendent’s office because your school didn’t have a weather delay but everyone else’s did?
Ever send someone a text message to complain about something they did or didn’t do that has you up in arms?
Ever complain to co-workers about your boss or other co-workers?
Here’s a fun little exercise: Get your phone or mobile device out, go to all of your social media sites, and run your last five posts on each one through these filters (feel free to pause here and do that — the rest of the article will still be here when you get back).
How did you fare? Did they pass the tests?
I also remind the students that the site where the MOCC is used to be a toxic waste dump, and that it took months and months of work to make that ground suitable for human use.
It takes just as long to repair a reputation damaged by what you post on social media.
